If Tinder doesn’t work, try Facebook!

The quick and dirty

Content warnings: boundary violation and lying/manipulation.

Archetype: The Boundary pusher

General feel: This guy has a complete lack of regard for interpersonal boundaries. Basically, he doesn’t get matched with you on Tinder so he Facebook stalks you until he can message there. Standard creepy dude behaviour.

The context

None. I got this message completely out of the blue.

The exchange

The bullshit detector

This guy was trying to manipulate me by playing the “bumbling man” character. When it became clear that he was lying to me to get what he wanted, I realized he was a boundary pusher. I also suspected as much when he wrote to me on Facebook about Tinder in the first place. But one of the major tip-offs was when I called him out and he said maybe we could get to know each other anyway. He was trying to see how far he could push, and when he realized it wasn’t very far, he started with the more aggressive manipulation and lying.

The sign-off

This guy is your average, run-of-the-mill creepy guy who has no sense of how to appropriately respect boundaries. Thankfully it was nipped in the bud before much damage was done, but our mutual friend was none too impressed that he felt the need to use her as a reference during this exchange, because it also really creeped her out.


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