The quick and dirty
Content warnings: body-shaming (specifically suggesting someone’s face is unattractive), implied slut-shaming due to polyamory.
Archetype: Knee-jerk asshole
General feel: This exchange is short and not at all sweet. He’s clingy and then even when he calms down, his knee-jerk response is so sudden that it might give you whiplash, which makes it pretty hilarious.
We matched on Tinder (he “Super Liked” me). Then this happened. Which is funny, because it says right on my profile that I’m polyamorous.
The bullshit detector
The only real indication for me that this guy was going to be a knee-jerk asshole was when he dismissed me out of the blue. The guy even “Super Liked” me and then was like, “Hey! How’s it going?! Hi! Where are you? Hello???” as though he could not wait to talk to me. When he was like “BYE” out of nowhere, it was such a sudden 180 that even being a seasoned veteran at this didn’t really help me see it coming. It did make me laugh really hard, though, at how quick and absurd it was. Especially since it says right on my profile that I’m polyamorous, so that should not have come as a surprise to him…
My best advice for those who come across guys like this is to remember that they’re on their best behaviour at the start. I should probably have realized it would be a waste of time when he sent me 4 messages within 12 hours of us matching because he’s just that impatient. I’m learning that these are the same guys who will do the “spray and pray” method on dating apps–where they copy/paste the same message to literally every possible match they can find and hope something sticks. So despite them being incredibly impersonal themselves, they often take everything you do very personally, and it’s totally OK to be amused by the irony of that. 🙂